From Routine to Discernment
I’ve never thought of myself as a person who falls naturally into routines. I’ve wished I could be that person but instead my normal cycle is to do something consistently for about two months max, and even that requires a real commitment from the start. At this particular moment in my life, I have a strong external motivator in receiving a cancer diagnosis. But even this doesn’t seem to have changed my aversion to routine. This has me reflecting on a lot of things – inspiration, desire, fear, consistency, sustainability, clarity, purpose. How do all of these contribute to my choices? How should I be living? I feel a pressure to get it “right”, once and for all.
I truly believe we are each here to live our best life, whatever we most desire, and this is revealed to us over time as we take steps toward it. It’s my responsibility to believe in it and to work toward it. I can only ever be what I create. At any given time, some things are in my control and some are not. Some things are within my means and others are not. How do I play the cards I have to live my best life?
Above all else, I have to know myself. I have to know my own deepest desires. I also have to know the things that hold me back. Usually these are patterns of behavior and belief. So maybe it’s not actually about creating routines after all but rather about listening to myself. For example, I know when I’m deceiving myself and I know when I’m making progress or honestly putting forward my best effort. And I could trust that I’ll know the next step without a routine, even when I can’t see into the future.
When it comes to being healthy, there is so much information out there. Heck, I’m even one of the people sharing it now! We are constantly discerning what’s important, who to trust, when to look for more, and even when to stop looking and rest. To just be with what we already know. At least for a while, until the next wave of motivation comes. The longer we live, we also get to know the feeling of having allowed that moment to pass and then finding it return with a little more urgency. Then we feel like we’re playing catch up. But these moments are where choice lies. We each decide what information to consume, when to act, and what action to take.
One of the ways I think of being an adult is as becoming your own parent. Offering that kind of love and support to myself and learning how to be better to myself each day. It is me who knows what’s best for me, holds myself accountable, and adapts to new circumstances when my plan fails or the world changes. As I think about my next steps, instead of overwhelm at all the unknowns and the need for routines that could perfect the application of all the potentially healthy options, I’m thinking about what kind of parent I want to be for myself. How kind and loving and supportive could I be? I think the kind of parent I want to be is the kind who believes in my ability to achieve, who empowers rather than enables, the kind who has the capacity to see all of me, for better or worse, and trusts that I will find my way. The one who knows there is a time and a place for routines but that discernment is the skill to hone.
The image I've used with this blog is a note I wrote to myself several years ago. When I read it today, I think about who I was at that time and what I was focused on. I was growing in my ability to believe in myself and listen to my inner wisdom. I felt empowered. And I feel even more empowered today knowing that I have the ability to discern. I can choose well for myself among the many options. I have the ability to discover those options that are best for me, to connect with others who will support me on my journey, and to take the actions that are needed. And I have the inner wisdom to stay centered. All I have to do is listen to myself.
Julie Alessandra is a holistic health coach specializing in cancer recovery and prevention. She has degrees in biology and education and is certified as a practitioner through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and the Institute of Applied Quantum Biology.